A little while ago I got married

I haven't written about it because I don't know what to say. It was perfect - as far as I am concerned, it was perfect. The day was everything we had hoped it would be, and we think everyone had a good time, which was our goal. When we started on this whole thing, we agreed that we both wanted to throw a good party, and I think we really did.

What can I say? I can tell you my bride looked radiant (she did), or that the cake was great (it was) or that people were right about how quickly the day flies by (very). The thing is, it's such an emotional day, such a charged, personal, spectacular day that I don't know how well it can be conveyed.

One thing, one thing that touched me much deeper than I would have anticipated, is how generous, how positive people are about marriage. I'm not just talking gifts, though I very nearly cried as we opened gifts and realised how much people gave that had no business doing so. I'm talking honking horns as they drive by, mimosas for Amy and the girls at the hair salon, co-worker after co-worker from random other departments not just firing off an email but coming over to visit and chat and tell me it is the best decision of my life. The positivity surrounding marriage is so encompassing, it is so human and social, it affected me more than I would have thought. I told Amy the night of the wedding - I want to be those people. The ones who make it an extra-big deal. And even though we already try to be those people, I want to try harder. It was such a warm, community feeling to be surrounded with. Amazing.

And after that to Mexico, which floored me. The Dominican Republic when we went back in 2002 was my first trip off N.A. believe it or not, and my first all-inclusive and when I returned I couldn't say enough good things about it. I have been deliberate in my attempts to avoid comparing the D.R. and Mexico because they are different and enjoying them need not be a zero-sum comparison. So while I don't want to take anything away from the dominican, I will say that from a service point of view, from a how-am-I-treated point of view, Mexico was outstanding. There's a sort of relaxed happiness there that is infectious. The happiness, no, contentment, is infectious, and the relaxed, let's-sit-by-the-pool, no, let's-siesta is very infectious. We went on a day trip to an Eco-park (Xel-Ha) where we snorkeled in a bay off the ocean in the morning. Amy and I were so floored by the experience, so in love with it, we nearly forgot that we still had the afternoon leg of the trip. The afternoon took us to the Mayan Ruins of Tulum. No words.

I discovered something else during the wedding process. I get uncomfortable when focus is placed on me for too long. Not stage fright, not fear of speaking to crowds, I don't mind that. That is measured in hours. What I find uncomfortable is attention measured in weeks. Conversations at work centered on wedding planning. I had not 1, not 2, but 3 bachelor parties. I had a lot of people come to a church to watch me get married, and then once I got home, I had people giving me things for my birthday. I was surprised at how antsy that experience made me -- grateful, but ever more desiring to hide for a while. My co-worker is buying a house next month and I'm so happy that we get to talk about him now -- except now I have wedding photos that people at work demand to see. I dunno if this discomfort is fleeting or not - I suspect not though. Our invitees shouldn't kid themselves -- Amy and I are aware of what accepting a wedding invitation can cost. We are very aware of what agreeing to be in a wedding party can cost too - and I feel uneasy at times thinking about the burden we put on people. But as I said to Amy as we opened envelopes -- the way out of that feeling is not to return their money -- the way out is to make sure we give all the more freely when we're honoured with such an invite in the future.

Don't get to this point and feel like I'm being overly ponderous and plodding. The thing is, I feel ecstatic. Not only do I have a ring on my finger to fidget with, but I have a wife sitting next to me (talking to her computer, as it happens). The thing is that I didn't know how effective it would be to have a journal entry that just says

happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy .

Maybe I'm wrong - in which case now I've included that too. It's just that the whole thing did make me think about a lot of things -- did make me *feel* about a lot of things too. I figured it wouldn't be an accurate re-telling without some of those. But then, it wouldn't be an accurate re-telling without the happy happy happy either.

Also I kissed a fish.